被哈佛大学录取的文书长什么样？好在哪里？

　　哈佛大学校报《The Crimson》每年都会邀请广大新生分享了自己的申请文书，并从中精选出10篇文书进行点评发布。这些文书代表了哈佛大学招生官所寻求录取的学生的重要品质或特性，非常有参考价值。以下是一篇比较经典的文书以及相关招生官点评：

　　以下是文书的部分内容展示：

　　In hazy stillness, a sudden flurry of colored skirtswhispers of“Merde!” Sternly, my fingers smoothback my hair, although they know no loose strands willbe found. My skin absorbs heat from stage lights aboveif only that heat would seep into my brain, denaturesome proteins, and deactivate the neurons stressingme out. A warm hand, accompanied by an evenwarmer smile, interrupts my frenzied solitude. I glanceup.My lovely teacher nods, coaxing my frozen lips intoa thawed smile. A complex figure, filled in with doubtyet finished with shades of confidence: My body takesits place and waits.

　　One, two, three, four; two, two, three, four. On stage,the lights and music wash over me. Never having had atrue ballet solo before, my lungs are one breath awayfrom hyperventilating. Trying to achieve a Zen-likestate, I imagine a field of daisies, yet my palmscontinue sweating disobediently.It’ s not that I’ venever been on stage alone before; I’ ve had plenty ofpiano recitals and competitions. Yet, while bothperformances consume my mind and soul, balletdemands complete commitment of my body.

　　招生官点评：通过她富有创造性的散文描述成功地唤起了读者的真实情感，生动形象的画面、发自内心的感受和心理活动创造了一篇优秀的文章。将Lisa的经历比作一只被困在封闭笼子里的鸟，笼子就是我们在生活中所面临的恐惧的隐喻。Lisa的第一部芭蕾舞独舞被出色地诠释为她的“挣脱”，在那一刻，她摆脱了恐惧(打开了她的笼子)，并通过深刻的自我反省，选择了接受未来的风险(只向前飞)。

　　在前面的内容中，Lisa她丰富的语言立即吸引了我们，因为她描绘了自己因压力、对失败和公众舆论的恐惧而无法动弹，让人同情并想了解更多。同时她的幽默感完美呈现：想要让她的大脑神经元失活并提醒自己不要先摔倒，以免被她的母亲责骂。Lisa将她可爱的老师作为她的舒适区和支持者，这是许多人可以分享的主题。她的焦虑是有相关的，她用它们来解释她的风险规避行为。

　　Lean extra in this pirouette; it s more aesthetic. But isit always better to be safe than sorry? Glancing towardthe wings, I see my teacher’ s wild gesticulations:Stretch your arms out, she seems to mime, More! Agenuine smile replaces one of forced enthusiasm;alone on the stage, this is my chance to shine. I breathein the movements, forget each individual step. Morethan just imagining, but finally experiencing thejubilation of the music, I allow my splits to stretchacross the stage and my steps to extend longer andlonger, until I’ m no longer safe and my heart isracing. Exhilarated and scared in the best way, I throwmyself into my jumps. I no longer need to imaginescenes to get in the mood; the emotions are twirlingand leaping within me.

　　在第4-5段中：Lisa的独奏被生动地描述为她跳舞中实现转变的决定性时刻一一恐惧变成了激情和兴奋。此刻，她微笑着摆脱恐惧。这里提出了一个尖锐的问题“但是安全总比后悔好吗?” 通过反省，LIisa表达了她追求冒险的愿望，这将提升她的文章价值观，并且承认并不总是能成功。

        Lisa以她将在大学从事的领导角色和活动的具体例子作为结尾，招生人员对渴望走出舒适区并在大学开始新的冒险的学生通常会持正面看法，这也让这篇文章更有说服力。这篇文章独特的叙事形式写得非常出色，给人一种充满活力、有趣、深刻的体验。Lisa的价值观贯穿整篇文章:创造力、决心、克服障碍、自我反省、在风险中成长，还有激情!我们激励学生摆脱这种消极情绪，继续前进并取得更大的成就!

　　以上是对于哈佛大学录取文书的解读，如果想要了解更多，可以添加V信Tops6868，托普仕相关的老师会为您解疑答惑。希望您可以尽早规划和递交申请，这样对您未来的留学申请会更有帮助！