哈佛大学2023年最佳申请文书摘录（附点评）

　　哈佛大学2023年最佳申请文书1、The Color of Everything

　　There’s a theory that even though each color has a specific wavelength that never changes, how people perceive a specific color may have subtle differences based on small differences in photoreceptors, and the color that one person might consider red might still be red in another’s mind but could look different— a little duller, softer, cooler. Furthermore, how a person’s brain processes the color may also be linked to that person’s environment. Some studies have suggested that color sensitivity could be linked to one’s native languages: for example, people who speak languages that have specific names for eleven colors are able to easily distinguish those eleven colors, but people who speak languages with fewer color specific words may have a harder time distinguishing them.

　　So it appears that even at the most elementary level of sight, the world is not an objective thing. Instead, what we know and what we remember can influence what and how we see. The color blue may just be the color blue to a three year old, perhaps her favorite color even, but an adult might connect it to so much more—the lake by his childhood home or the eye color of a loved one.

　　I first consciously became aware of the power that our experiences have to change perception when I went to turn on a light in my house after learning about photons in class. What had previously been a mundane light suddenly became a fascinating application of atomic structure, and I thought that I could almost perceive the electrons jumping up and down from energy level to energy level to produce the photons that I saw. I then realized that my world had steadily been changing throughout my years in school as I learned more and more. I now see oligopolies in the soda aisles of the supermarkets. I see the charges warring with each other in every strike of lightning, and the patterns of old American politics still swaying things today. Knowledge and making connections with that knowledge is the difference between seeing the seven oceans glittering in the sun and merely seeing the color blue. It’s the difference between just seeing red and seeing the scarlet of roses blooming, the burgundy of blood pumping through veins, and crimson of anger so fierce that you could burst. Knowledge is color; it is depth, and it is seeing a whole new world without having to move an inch.

　　It is knowledge, too, that can bring people together. I love listening to people’s stories and hearing about what they know and love, because if I learn about what they know, I can learn how they see the world; consequently, since behavior is often based upon perception, I can understand why a person behaves the way they do. On a road trip during the summer, my mom kept looking up at the streetlights lining the highways. When I asked why, she told me that whenever she saw lights by a highway she would wonder if her company had made them. She would guess how tall they were, how wide, and what style they were. She told me that ever since she started working for her company, lights no longer were just lights to her. They were a story of people who first had to measure the wind speed to figure out what dimension the lights had to be, and then of engineers, of money passing hands—possibly even under her own supervision as an accountant—and then of transportation, and of the people who had to install them. I might never perceive lights the exact way my mother does or see her “red” but by hearing her describe what she knows, I can understand her world and realize her role in ours.

　　Beauty and color are in the world, but it is seeking the unknown and making new connections that unlocks them from their greyscale cage.

　　文书内容点评：Amy撰写了一篇出色的、发人深省的文章，以“求知欲”为中心，使用生动的描述性语言将有趣的科学理论、颜色和视觉研究联系起来，展示我们有限或广泛的知识如何塑造我们的现实和经验。

　　整篇文章中显而易见的是Amy不断学习的热情和成长，并将她的知识与周围的环境联系起来，以发现隐藏的真相。一个人可以通过学习他人的知识或故事来理解他人的行为或感知，这是一个简单但又深刻的宏观主题一一对知识、真理的好奇心、分享想法和经验无疑可以将许多人聚集在一起。我想起了狭义相对论和广义相对论的发现者阿尔伯特爱因斯坦的著名自语:“我没有特殊的才能。我只是充满好奇。

　　这篇文章的结构非常好; 每一段都进一步说明了Amy对新信息和联系的渴望。总的来说，Amy得出了一个有力的结论: 教育、同理心、倾听、理解和联系，所有这些都激发了她对生活的智力热情。Amy渴望了解所有事物，尤其是人，她将自己描绘成一个充满好奇心且讨人喜欢的学生，是充满活力的学术界的理想补充

　　哈佛大学2023年最佳申请文书2、When Life Doesn’t Gives You Lemons

　　With the blazing morning sun beaming through the window, I had an inclination to make a stand to sell Lebanese laymounada - a light lemonade flavored with a splash of rosewater. Throughout my childhood, anytime the temperature spiked over seventy degrees, there would be laymounada waiting for me at my Teta’s (grandmother in Lebanese Arabic) house.

　　At that moment, I scoured the cabinets and secured the glass pitcher only to realize we did not have lemons. To my disappointment, I realized my days of being an entrepreneur and generating revenue from my laymounada stand were over before they could even begin. I sat at the kitchen table, wallowing in disappointment. I wanted everyone to be able to taste my Teta’s laymounada. Suddenly, I had an idea that would either prove to be inventive or a total failure. I would sell lemonade without the lemons. Revolutionary, right?

　　I ripped off a rectangular sheet of paper towel and jotted down my business plan. I listed the key elements of the business plan: a drawing of a cup, a rose, and the price- “fifty scents”- to correlate with the rose-themed business. I sat outside of my childhood home located in a cul-de-sac of five houses and sold my neighbors a rose drink- a combination of filtered water, packets of sugar, and a dash of rosewater. Granted, I only made about $10 from a combination of my parents and generous neighbors who did not drink the “lemonade”, but the experience allowed me to realize regardless of the obstacle, if you are passionate, you can persevere. Teta’s laymounada was my introduction to entrepreneurship.

　　The entrepreneurial skills gained from my laymounada stand allowed me to establish A&G Jewelry, co-founded with my sister when I was twelve. This business focused on representing our Lebanese heritage. Using supplies we found around our house and from our local craft store, we created a variety of pieces that featured traditional Middle Eastern coins, beads, and clay baked into the shape of Lebanon. My sister and I collaborated to create marketing tools to promote our new business. Before we knew it, A&G Jewelry had earned a spot at my church’s annual Lebanese festival. After tirelessly marketing and selling our jewelry for three days straight, we had made over $900 in revenue, which we decided to donate to the church.

　　Entrepreneurship took a new form in high school when my sister and I founded our second partnership, The Model Brockton City Council. We saw a need to engage our peers in local government by designing a simulation of our city council. We had to collect signatures, present to many administrators, and market our new club. The initial goal to have more people try my lemonade resonated with me as I strived to have more people engage in their civic duties. Today, over twenty-five of my classmates frequently attend my meetings.

　　With my first business venture selling laymounada, I made $10; with A&G Jewelry, $900; with the Model Brockton City Council, the revenue amounted to $0. Although there was not a financial gain, I attained experience as a negotiator, problem solver, creative thinker, and most importantly, I became persistent.

　　Twelve years have passed since that summer day with my “laymounada,” and I have yet to maintain a long-lasting business. My six-year-old self would have seen this lack of continuity as a colossal failure, but instead, it instilled an intense curiosity in me. Little did I know the experience would remain so vivid after all these years. It has continued to push me, compelling me to challenge myself both academically and entrepreneurially. As I grow older, my intrinsic drive to have a lemonade stand, regardless of whatever obstacles come my way, persists as a deep-seated love of business.

　　When life doesn’t give you lemons, still make lemonade (or laymounada, as my Teta would say).

　　文书内容点评：许多成功的大学论文都遵循一个简单的公式: 钩子+锚点+故事+成长。虽然具体细节可能有所不同，但如果您能够包含这四个要素中的每一个，您将获得一篇引人注目的文章。

　　钩子: “钩子”的作用是吸引读者。招生人员每天会阅读数百篇论文，因此请尝试立即吸引他们的注意力。以有趣或不同的东西开始你的文章。

　　锚点:“锚点”是连接整篇文章并赋予其意义的想法或主题。优秀的主播是发人深省的，让读者看完后感到满足。

　　故事:讲故事的黄金法则是“展示，而不是讲述”不要只是告诉招生人员你是一个多么优秀的人。相反，尝试通过你的故事向他们展示你的个性、性格和成就。

　　成长:所有优秀的大学论文都清楚地展示了你如何从你的经历中成长一定要强调你从你的经历中学到了什么或收获了什么。

　　Georgina抓住了所有四个关键要素一一吸引力、锚点、故事和成长一-这就是这篇文章成功的原因。

　　完整文书内容详见：https://www.thecrimson.com/topic/sponsored-successful-harvard-essays-2023/

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