埃默里大学个人陈述范文：破译如何写好文章

　　埃默里大学个人陈述范文示范：内附招生官优势解读，助您破译好文章写作的密码！

　　随着埃默里大学申请材料递交数量比去年增加19%，2021年埃默里大学的录取人员对申请者进行了历史以来最严格的评估，最终出色的个人陈述描述成为角逐最后谁被录取的关键影响因素。

　　下面是埃默里大学展示出来的被录取学生的部分个人陈述范文，它将显示出：一篇好的个人陈述可能涉及多个主题，但如何机智的突出学生的性格，好奇心和话语权，这是学生需要学习的地方。

　　备注：末尾还附有招生人员对这篇个陈述优势的具体解读，让您掌握谱写更好文章和故事的秘诀！

　　所要概述的问题：

　　描述一个你觉得很吸引人的话题、想法或概念，它会让你忘记所有的时间。并且阐述为什么它会迷住你?当你想学习更多的东西时，你会向谁求助？

　　“Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?”

　　所给出的个人陈述回答范文：

　　“I tap my red pen inattentively against the draft sitting before me. After some silent musing, I finally drag a line of ink through a phrase and reword it in small, loopy letters above. As a final thought, I circle the space between two words. My writer forgot the Oxford comma. Again.

　　The Oxford comma is the comma used after the penultimate item in a list. I learned about this majestic piece of punctuation at an early age and wondered how anyone could advocate against it. How could anything that adds so much clarity, while requiring so little effort, be controversial? When I joined my school’s newspaper in sophomore year and learned that AP style does not use the comma, I was shocked. Therefore, when I became Managing Editor my senior year, my first initiative was reinstating it.

　　Others might find this to be a trivial concern, but you know what they say about the devil: he lives in the details. It is part of my personal philosophy that details are the most essential part of any plan or project; they are what separates the bad from the good, and the good from the great. Details are vital to my work as a copy editor. Occasionally, writers groan when they hear that I will be the one editing their story, but that’s how you know you’re doing a good job.

　　An effective copy editor will do more than correct punctuation: they’ll detect structural problems and predict questions that readers will ask so the writer can answer them. Writers may not love having to make so many changes, but they finish the news cycle with a product they are proud of.

　　My attention to details, like that elusive comma, does more than make me a good worker: it makes me a good communicator. I listen carefully to people, to details, and I think they matter. I like to share my own opinions through writing and photography, but more than that, I like to share the stories of others. This past summer, I had the opportunity to meet a number of community workers and write about them for the regional newspaper. I got to meet and tell the stories of a couple who owned one of the last free community pools and taught kids to swim without taking out a salary, and a woman in her twenty-second year of running a volunteer event which grants underprivileged children access to new clothes and school supplies. Being able to give these local heroes the spotlight they deserved was more rewarding than I could have ever expected.

　　What makes me unique is that I don’t just notice details, I care about them. I think clarity of communication is the most vital and most neglected aspect of a functional society. That is why I believe journalism and communication are important. You can’t move someone who is stuck in their ways by spouting facts and figures at them. You convince people by telling stories, stories that appeal to our shared humanity.

　　Reporting is community building, and we definitely need more of that in this day and age. By listening to details and sharing observations, I can sometimes help two people who were not able to find common ground see past their differences. I believe this is an important part of being on the newspaper staff and even of being a good friend. And that is why I care about communication, and by extension, the Oxford comma”

　　埃默里大学招生人员对上述个人陈述反馈及评价：优势体现在哪里？

　　“作为入学顾问，我们有时喜欢将申请视为一个故事，申请书的每个部分，包括笔录、论文和推荐信，因为在一起，所以提供了一个深入的例子，说明每个学生是谁，以及什么因素会激发他们的个人和学业上的学习。

　　通过该学生的申请，很明显新闻和讲故事是一种激情。他们能够利用牛津大学争议之类的平凡事物来体现自己的优势，并阐述两种有意义的经历-作为学校报纸的常务编辑和当地报纸的实习生。他们不仅像列出的简历那样简单地列出自己的成就，也会讲一个简单的故事来解释自己的观点。他们积极运用平常小事无缝地编织叙述，从而使学生的兴趣得以一一体现。

　　这篇文章有助于我们作为招生委员会更好地了解申请人的整体情况，所以要是没有这篇文章，这个学生的故事将是不完整的。“

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